Normally, when you migrate, no one explains to you how to dealing with nostalgia that appears when you least expect it: when you smell a food, when you hear an accent, when you see a voice message from your mother.
Even if your project in the new country is exciting, is normal that your emotional wellbeing is shaken by that a mixture of sadness, longing and doubts about whether you did the right thing.
The good news is that you are not alone. Psychology recognizes homesickness as a natural part of the migratory mourning, There are concrete ways to support you as you build your new life.
Understanding what migrant nostalgia really is
Before attempting to fix it, it is key to understand what is this nostalgia you feel. Several studies on migratory mourning explain that when you emigrate, you don't just leave behind a physical place; your everyday language, your support network, your social status, your routines and even past versions of yourself are also left behind.
Homesickness, in this context, is not just missing home. It is a complex emotion that includes:
- Memories of people you no longer see every day.
- Images of your city, your neighborhood, your daily sounds.
- The sensation that “over there you fit in” and here you still do not.
Nostalgia can bring sadness and pain, but it also reminds you of who you are, where you come from and what history sustains you. The goal is not to eliminate it, because that is unrealistic, but to keep it from taking up all the space in your present life.
Migratory grief: putting a name to what you feel
As a general rule, this process is known as migratory mourningA multiple mourning in which you simultaneously lose your environment, your dominant language, your group of friends, your routine and the symbolic place you occupied in your community.
Unlike a bereavement, here what was lost still exists, but you are no longer there. You continue to see photos, receive audios and follow news from your country, which means that the mourning never seems to close completely.
Recognizing that you are experiencing a migratory grief is an important step because:
- Validate your sadnessYou are not weak, you are going through a recognizable process.
- Allows you to search for information and resources specific to what is happening to you.
- Helps you understand that many of your reactions (crying, apathy, irritability) make sense in this context.
How to deal with this grief?
A common mistake is to try to eradicate nostalgiaThe main reason for this is to avoid any connection with the country of origin in order not to feel. But this strategy is often ineffective, because homesickness returns, and sometimes even stronger.
Instead of fighting with her, it is more useful to give her a healthy place in your life:
- Accept that it is normal to miss.
- Allow yourself to feel without judgment.
- Observe when it appears: in the evenings, after talking to your family, on special dates?
This observation helps you to have resources at those specific moments instead of feeling that nostalgia «crushes you» without warning.
Building new routines without deleting old ones
One of the most repeated pieces of advice given by psychologists working with migrants is to creating routines in the host country. It is not about filling yourself with obligations, but about giving structure to your day so that it is not all improvisation and loneliness.
These are some small actions that help:
- Establish schedules more or less fixed to eat, sleep and do some physical movement.
- Set aside time for activities that connect you to your new city: walking through a neighborhood, going to a library, signing up for a course.
- Maintain certain rituals what you did at home before move.
Psychologists explain that routines reduce anxiety and give a sense of control, something very valuable when everything else seems new and uncertain.
Taking care of your body to support your mind
It may sound obvious, but evidence shows that lack of sleep, poor nutrition and lack of movement worsen sadness, irritability and anxiety.
The World Health Organization recalls that many migrants experience insomnia, fatigue and irritability as part of the accumulated stress of the migratory process, and that in most cases these reactions improve when general health is taken care of.
Some simple ideas that you can implement:
- Try to sleep at about the same time every day.
- Eat regularly, avoiding spending many hours without eating anything because “you don't have time”.
- Incorporate small movements: get off one stop earlier, use the stairs, walk 15 minutes outdoors.
It's not about becoming an athlete, but about giving your body signals that you are present and that it deserves care, even in the midst of the chaos of adaptation.
Maintaining the link to your home without getting stuck in the past
The technologies have made it easier to maintain contact with the country of origin, but they have also created a new challengeYou can spend hours watching news, videos and social networks from your country and feel like you are there without really being there. That half-presence sometimes aggravates homesickness.
The key is in strike a balance healthy:
- Reserve moments concrete to talk to your family and friends, instead of being connected all day long.
- Participating in traditions from afar (celebrating a special date, cooking a typical dish, listening to music from your homeland).
- Accept that you will miss things, but you are also living valuable experiences where you are now.
The objective of migratory mourning is not to choose between the past or the present, but to learning to live in between the two. In other words, the key is to stay connected to your origin while building a meaningful life where you are.
Naming what you feel: writing, talking, asking for help
Many strategies proposed by psychologists to deal with migratory grief have something in common, since they invite you to take out what is happening to you.
Useful tips to carry this out:
- Write a diary where you tell what you miss, what excites you and what hurts you.
- Talk to someone you trust (a friend, a family member, another migrant person) and verbalize what is happening to you.
- Participate in support groups or online where other people share similar experiences.
When homesickness becomes a cause for concern: warning signs
Although homesickness and sadness are normal in a migratory process, the World Health Organization warns that, in some cases, the discomfort of migration can lead to a loss of consciousness. can escalate and lead to mental health problems. such as depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder.
It is convenient seek professional help yes:
- For weeks or months you have had such intense sadness that you can hardly go about your daily life.
- You have stopped being interested in things you used to enjoy.
- You have a hard time sleeping or wake up with anxiety often.
- You isolate yourself and avoid any social contact.
- You have recurring thoughts that “there's no point in going on like this” or some such things in a loop.
In these cases, talk to a psychologist or a specialized therapist. in a migrant population can make a huge difference, because therapy offers a space to work through losses, re-signify the experience and find personal resources to adapt.
Practicing self-care without guilt
A recurring theme among migrants is to blameThe guilt of being away, of not being physically present, of enjoying moments in the host country while the family is facing difficulties. That guilt can make you deny yourself spaces of rest or pleasure, as if you did not deserve them.
However, it should be noted that self-care is not selfishness. Maintaining a reasonable routine of rest, food and leisure not only helps you cope with the distance; it also allows you to support those who depend on you in a more stable way.
Lean on community resources
Remember that you don't have to invent the way from scratch. In each country there are migrant associations, community centers, parishes, cultural groups and other places dedicated to accompanying people living outside their country. Many of these places offer workshops, conversation groups, basic counseling and, in some cases, even access to low-cost or free psychological care.
Investigate all of this in your neighborhood, town or city and take advantage of these municipal resources offered by your destination country to which you have migrated.
Dealing with homesickness and moving on
In short, learning to deal with the nostalgia far from home it does not mean to stop missing or become immune to memories. Rather, it means finding a way to live with that emotion without being paralyzed by it.
Recognizing migratory grief, building new routines, taking care of your body, weaving support networks, balancing the link with your country of origin and asking for help when the sadness becomes too much are concrete steps you can take little by little.
Your migration story is not just about pain, even if it includes it. It is also made up of courage, difficult decisions, the desire to support your loved ones from afar and the ability to reinvent yourself in a new place without losing your roots.
Because nostalgia reminds you of where you come from; but you, step by step, you can decide where you are going.